Lessons-Family Traditions

Family traditions

“Whatever its biological inheritance from its parents and other ancestors, the child receives also from them a heritage of attitudes, sentiments, and ideals which may be termed the family tradition, or the family culture”.

Social scientists now agree that effective family traditions promote a sense of identity and a feeling of closeness, a sense of security and assurance in today’s fast, hectic, and ever-changing world. William Doherty, a social scientist has explained in his book “The Intentional Family” that as family bonds are weakened by busy lifestyles, families can stay connected only by being intentional about maintaining important rituals and traditions.
(source: Wikipedia)

Easter was yet another reminder of a big parenting lesson we have learned along the way. Having traditions, rituals, habits, that you do every holiday etc. is so comforting to kids. No matter what their age.

A friend of mine who has college age kids told me this week that she couldn't find her kids Easter baskets this year. She thought, "no big deal, they are older and won't care." She was wrong. They scoured the attic looking for them and were genuinely upset that they were not going to be hiding them.

Our kids remind us of traditions we have, and insist on doing them every year, for every holiday, vacation etc.

Some fun traditions we do:
Hide the Easter basket
Birthday cake for Jesus as breakfast on Christmas morning
Pictures with signs on their first day of school
"Survival kits" for all long road trips
Kids' Date nights on vacations
Daddy gives only the girls a Valentine
New Years family goals for the year
12 year old mission trips
Blessing kids before bed
Birthday dinner choice
Christmas treats for our neighbors
Christmas ornaments from vacation spots
Many more that I can't think of.....

Menus and more

I know its Wednesday, but thought I would post anyway!

Monday
Amy' meal
Ekrich skinless turkey sausage
mac and cheese
bananas

Tuesday
Taco's
Strawberries
mexican rice

Wednesday
Baked ziti with sausage
bread

Thursday
stromboli
fruit
garlic bread

Friday
chili in crock pot


I wanted to tell you about what our small group ladies did today. The 6 of us got together and cooked 12 meals for each of us to take home to our freezer.

It took us 5 hours of cooking and putting together meals, but we had fun and it will save us so much time in the near future.

Here is what we made:
2 Crock pot chicken and dumplings
2 Beef tips
2 Stromboli's
2 Chicken Packets
2 Baked ziti with Sausage
2 Tia's meatballs

We then chose one meal to give up and we gave it to the Agape House. This is a house for foster children. One sweet lady takes care of 8 kids right now, there is always a bunch coming and going. She was so thankful, made me want to give her all my meals! (Especially, since they were all running around crazy while I was talking to her!)
We will hopefully cook together and donate every month to 6 weeks.
If you have any good freezer meals, pass them on.

Hilton Head days 1-3 by Andrew

We left friday morning at 8:15. The first day we went on a walk along the beach.Then my mom and I went on a date and it's not the date your thinking it's the other one. so first we went and did a do it your self car wash. We went to PIZZA HUT my favorite at least now. Then we came home and played tennes and swam and amy and dad went on their date. The next day it mosly the same thing. The next day we went to the beach and had lots of fun but mom and amy were realy lazy but my favorite was when my dad came and throu the football realy far into the ocean and we had to get it.Then went home and swam.

Monday Menus

Joe is out of town this week, and I am working extra. Kid friendly meals prevail!

Monday
Amy's meal
Sausage amd mac and cheese
Apples

Tuesday
Chicken strips
Salad
strawberries

Wednesday
Soups
bread
fruit

Thursday
Leftovers, and clean out the fridge and freezer meals.

Friday
Leave for Hilton Head Island!

Lessons...

Another lesson we have learned is to always be a student.

Be a student of your children.

Learn what their "Love Language" is and/or just what they like and dislike. Learn what they are good at, and what frustrates them. Learning these things helps you know when something is bothering them, or has gone awry.
I always thought this would be easy, I live with them, right? It isn't that easy. It actually takes being a student of them, lots of time and questions.

Be a student of parenting. Read books about what you are struggling with. Pray and read what the bible has to say about parenting. Memorize those scriptures.

Be a student of parents you respect. We try and "watch" and learn from those parents whom we respect. Seeing first hand how other parents handle conflict etc. can be very helpful.

Be a student of yourself. Know where you are lacking and work on it. Areas like, patience, anger, and conflict management cause me to read, watch and learn. They don't come natural for me. A constant prayer that comes from my lips for these things.

Parenting lessons we have learned....

I am starting a new series on parenting. For the 3 of you who read this!haha
We are not perfect parents(just ask our kids:). This is just some lessons we have learned along the way.
1.Be active

Be active in the kids life. Sometimes just by being present, sometimes being intentional and sacrificial.

Being active in their school and education is crucial. Our kids go to a very large school system. Especially, compared to where we went to school. We make a point to volunteer, attend field trips etc., so that our teachers and administrators know us personally. When asked to be on boards, focus groups etc, do it. We feel the more our face and name is "in there", for good, the better. Teachers love knowing who a parent is. It gets harder the older they get, but still there are ways. I volunteer on hospitality committees, bringing in food and lunches for the staff at all three schools our kids go to. PTO, focus groups, and classroom help are other ways. Teachers rarely say no to help! Kids behavior improves too, if they know you are on a first name basis with their teacher, or that mom may walk by any minute!

Being there for concerts, games, competitions. Kids love to see you there, even when they say they don't care if you come. My boys even ask, "how did I play Mom?" "how did I do?" Just begging for the affirmation.

Being there at home. Just being present, is all that is needed sometimes. Andrew stayed home from school yesterday, sick. I think the one on one time was needed as much as anything. What I struggle with is not JUST being present, but available too. I am always busy doing things. Laundry, meals, cleaning etc.
Example:
Tuesday is laundry day at the Bennett house. Aaron came home from school and then piano grouchy. He was even borderline disrespectful to the piano teacher. All very uncharacteristic for Aaron. He got out of the van and went to shoot baskets. I really needed to fold laundry and get dinner going. Instead I went and rebounded for him. He was quite shocked, which speaks poorly of me. We talked and played for 30 minutes and his mood lifted. He never told me what or if something was bothering him, but the quality time was worth it.

One on one dates are another great way to be active in our kids life and speaks value to them. The more kids you have the harder it gets. Amy and I had fun going to Kroger the other night. It was only 30 minutes, but we laughed and joked and was good for both of us.
Ann likes doing crafts with me and now going to goodwill with me too.
Andrew loves games and puzzles, especially if he can beat me! Each kid is so different!
These things are sacrificial of our time, and are not always fun for us, but the kids need it. It also takes being intentional and not just "getting by", planning and doing is so important.

Parenting is a process and we are learning as we go.

Monday Menus

Monday- Amy's meal
Tortellini with marinara
breadsticks
green beans

Tuesday
Baked chicken breasts
baked potato
cauliflower
apples

Wednesday
Beef tips
mashed potatoes

Thursday
Crock pot chicken- new recipe
rice
fruit

Friday
pizza

Saturday
chili

Sunday
Small group at our house