I am starting a new series on parenting. For the 3 of you who read this!haha
We are not perfect parents(just ask our kids:). This is just some lessons we have learned along the way.
1.Be active
Be active in the kids life. Sometimes just by being present, sometimes being intentional and sacrificial.
Being active in their school and education is crucial. Our kids go to a very large school system. Especially, compared to where we went to school. We make a point to volunteer, attend field trips etc., so that our teachers and administrators know us personally. When asked to be on boards, focus groups etc, do it. We feel the more our face and name is "in there", for good, the better. Teachers love knowing who a parent is. It gets harder the older they get, but still there are ways. I volunteer on hospitality committees, bringing in food and lunches for the staff at all three schools our kids go to. PTO, focus groups, and classroom help are other ways. Teachers rarely say no to help! Kids behavior improves too, if they know you are on a first name basis with their teacher, or that mom may walk by any minute!
Being there for concerts, games, competitions. Kids love to see you there, even when they say they don't care if you come. My boys even ask, "how did I play Mom?" "how did I do?" Just begging for the affirmation.
Being there at home. Just being present, is all that is needed sometimes. Andrew stayed home from school yesterday, sick. I think the one on one time was needed as much as anything. What I struggle with is not JUST being present, but available too. I am always busy doing things. Laundry, meals, cleaning etc.
Example:
Tuesday is laundry day at the Bennett house. Aaron came home from school and then piano grouchy. He was even borderline disrespectful to the piano teacher. All very uncharacteristic for Aaron. He got out of the van and went to shoot baskets. I really needed to fold laundry and get dinner going. Instead I went and rebounded for him. He was quite shocked, which speaks poorly of me. We talked and played for 30 minutes and his mood lifted. He never told me what or if something was bothering him, but the quality time was worth it.
One on one dates are another great way to be active in our kids life and speaks value to them. The more kids you have the harder it gets. Amy and I had fun going to Kroger the other night. It was only 30 minutes, but we laughed and joked and was good for both of us.
Ann likes doing crafts with me and now going to goodwill with me too.
Andrew loves games and puzzles, especially if he can beat me! Each kid is so different!
These things are sacrificial of our time, and are not always fun for us, but the kids need it. It also takes being intentional and not just "getting by", planning and doing is so important.
Parenting is a process and we are learning as we go.
